Resting Where God Already Is.

Proverbs 18:21 (NIV) states, "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

The past few months have given me much to reflect on, moments I did not plan for, encounters I did not expect, and emotions I did not understand. And yet, through it all, I find myself grateful.

Grateful for every experience, even the uncomfortable ones, because each day arrives new, untouched, unwritten by me and I am still learning, slowly, to receive it with open arms.

I have also become more purposeful about what I allow into my mind and spirit. Negative thoughts, draining emotions, and environments that felt like a pulling away from peace, I try, as best as I can, to step back from them, not perfectly but consciously.

Because I am beginning to understand something deeper about anxiety.

Anxiety often begins when we try to control what was never ours to control and we find ourselves rushing ahead of life.

I'm finding for myself that in doing so, we slowly lose the peace that was available to us for the present moment. But then I am reminded of a truth that shifts everything that God is already where I am going.

He is not waiting at some distant point in my future, hoping I will arrive with everything figured out. He is already there, in the unknown, in the unanswered questions, in the spaces I am still trying to make sense of and more than that, He is here, present, near and steady.

When I truly sit with this, something within me softens. The pressure to predict, to control, to have certainty about every outcome, begins to loosen its grip.

I no longer need to rush ahead of my life, because I am not walking into anything alone.

Peace, I am learning, is not found in having all the answers. It is found in trusting the one who already stands in every tomorrow I worry about.

This does not mean fear disappears overnight. It does not mean I suddenly stop overthinking or questioning. But it does mean I have somewhere to return to, a place of rest. A quiet reminder that I am held, even in the uncertainty, so I am learning to pause and to come back to this moment to just breathe and to release what was never mine to carry.

Trusting that wherever life unfolds next, God is already there waiting, not with pressure, but with peace.

Anxiety grows when we rush ahead of life and peace returns when we realise this, that God is already there.

Realisations After Three Weeks of Simply Being Together

 It is such a blessing that it happened again. Akin and I have spent the past three weeks together and every time we meet, something feels different, each experience carries its own character. It might be something simple like going to the supermarket, or the small adventures of exploring Cape Town as if we are seeing it for the first time. Sometimes it is the long walks through the city or the other times when we sit through the quiet moments in the same room, saying nothing, doing nothing, simply living life side by side.

These are the moments I cherish deeply and this time, I made a conscious decision to detach from the virtual world and be fully present in the real one to enjoy each simple moment with Akin.

Now I am back at my place, and Akin at this very moment is thinking about the long journey he must take to return to Manchester, I know that the journey cannot be easy on him and I do not quite know how to express the depth of my gratitude that he continues to make it happen, I dream of the day when it will be me having to travel up north. But what I do know, and truly believe, is that the grace of God carries us through these distances.

My mind is filled with the situations we faced together, the moments of joy and laughter, and those quiet stretches where we simply sat without speaking. I think about the long walks that allowed us to see the city we both love from a different perspective.

Whenever Akin and I are together, we are always moving, always experiencing something anew. Right now my mind is full of memories, emotions, and impressions that I am still trying to process and embrace.

There is more I want to write about. Not only about what happened in Cape Town, but about the way this time together has shifted something inside me in the hope for something better to come our way.

A different perspective has begun to unfold, and a little time to capture it properly, and perhaps even more time to understand it. 

Sometimes it takes distance to realise something meaningful happened there.

I believe life can change in a single moment. We do not know what tomorrow may bring but we do believe and trust that it is changing for the best.