Hello! who are you.?

Hello! who are you.?

It seems this is the first question we ask each other when we meet for the first time and better still should we just feel a spark of interest, we become ignited and open to exploring what might come of the acquaintance.

I have always admired people who can answer this question almost instantaneously and exude so much confidence and a display in brief of their accomplishments with ease.

If you ask me this question be prepared to hear from the onset of how I was born just eleven months after my older sibling, on a birth date of all sevens, in a country with one of the seven natural wonders of the world, a surname with seven letters, and being my father’s seventh child and trust me this list of sevens can go on.

Made of moments and memories. Is this really who I am.

I am eternally grateful to my maternal grandmother for her earnest aid in my early development of life. Considering being of twice and tried failed abortions on me, I guess I just have been that stubborn from conception, but this woman made sure I lived.

Of the very few childhood memories that still live on, is that of school going age of having to realize I must live with and get to know who my siblings are, having to rediscover and understand a total family setting, It wasn’t easy.
I never fitted into their patten, looking back now with a little understanding I can compare it to as trying to fit into a clique.
In school, amongst my peers it was easy, I was everyone’s friend and could make connections effortlessly but still not being able to create a real friend.
I grew to appreciate being in my own company, in some way maybe it helped in giving me an opportunity for early development to the understanding of human interactions.

As time would have it, I never really got to make a connection with my siblings throughout my life, we seemly couldn’t make a common connection. In many aspects I found I had to gain dependence on self, I was just this tall skinny boy always alone and so came the nickname string bean.

Freedom, Growth and love.

As much as provision was made for me, I watched as my siblings were given much opportunity and provision as to develop their lives, while anticipation continued to grow for my chance to come for such, the opportunity never arrived.  

My freedom came when I eventually left schooling and forged my way into employment that offered a chance to further my own growth into adulthood and begin life as I know it.

I did well in demonstrating my ability in the workplace which allowed for some promotions providing me with a skill and opportunity for some growth and development.

She Chose me!

Growing up I stumbled in trying to find a common connection with my siblings, they all seemed to have an understanding with each other, to say my siblings just rejected me is an understatement.
I felt no attachment with them no matter how hard I tried; I just never felt being a part of them.

It wasn’t until one of my elder sisters at a young age brought in the first grandchild.
Before the birth of this child, the marriage was very formal, very Catholic, probably still the best weddings to date I ever attended, it was amazing and so beautiful. Attended by so many prominent members of society, family and friends.

As time would have it and the child conceived from these nuptials seemed to take an unprecedented liking unto me, the child would cry endlessly for me to attend to her every need, to the disgruntlement of the parents and those around, at first, it seemed all innocent but from as early as the age of three years it seemed like I was both mother and father to this child in the way that she behaved.
It got to a point where at times her parents would drive at night to bring her to me because she would not stop crying for wanting me.

As time would have It, it so happened that this marriage my sister was involved in didn’t last, she gave up on what was seven years of married life and eloped with the man that was her first love, leaving behind her husband and at that time a five-year-old girl child.

I guess for the child it felt normal as I automatically took total responsibility for her, with the occasional help of the clueless father we did the best we could as I began to learn to take responsibility for a little life with no manual for a guide and of my own parents this child refused.

I always felt maybe it was because I was exposed to hard issues in life that at a very early stage, I was able to control such a trial of life. Having hope that in good time my sister would get her head right and return to take control, of that just wishful thinking.

I did my best to continue with life, trying to understand my own challenges and at the same time having to develop a little human I found myself now being responsible.

Having a child was not a part of the plan, worse in early adulthood. Having this imposed on me I took up the responsibility.
Probably in some way it helped to remove a few scales around my ideas of what life can be about, that in some way brought some understanding to many issues I never understood.

Walk your own path.

I never for one day received any kind of assistance from my other siblings, I forged a way in providing not only for my own needs but for that of those I found myself being responsible for, so I began and forged my way through life trying to make for betterment for those in my care.

In my years of gainful employment, I proved myself worthy and competent, I saw myself getting promotions not only because I interacted well with my colleagues but that I proved myself worthy and able of the tasks set before me and I excelled in my expertise, gaining knowledge of many things in and around me.

Life has always brought many new learning experiences for me, and with this my very own first blog I hope I will be able to share my experiences and views on many issues with the hope of gaining more understanding about myself and the world around me.


  1. Dear Brian,
    Thank you for sharing your amazing story, you have such great humanity and resilience. You have fathered three beautiful girls who are growing into remarkable women.
    You have my utmost respect and welcome to the world of blogging.
    You'll do well.
    Much love.
    Akin (Donttryit)


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