Call me by my name because I am not him!

Over the past weakened I had some time to have a good sit down with my dad and we just had a good old chat. I can’t remember when last we ever had a good talk. I can count on one hand the years my dad and I have been able to talk to each other, our relationship was non-existent until a few years ago when I almost lost my life due to an illness that almost took my life and cost me 18days in hospital, of which 12 days kept me in the intensive care unit. Sometimes I wonder and ask myself if he only communicates with me now because of pity, or out of sympathy, it’s hard to tell.

I may have over-reacted to him when he constantly kept on calling me by my brothers’ name during our conversation, at first I let it be and ignored such, but as we conversed, I realised he did not acknowledge the fact that it was talking to me he, he mentioned things I never did that were all done by my brothers, he continued to call me by their names interchangeable and there was  a moment I realised, he was not seeing or acknowledging me as an individual but only as a tolerance, he was more concerned with just been interested in some conversation but wishing it was not with me and to him I was any one of my other brothers.

I understand that we have a late connection and are still trying hard to understand each other and that we both have so much to work at in order to know each other, but still with all that, as we both trying to relate, we somehow must understand that we will both make mistakes while trying to build a relationship.

But somethings are so difficult to handle, because of him not recognising me I reacted towards him in a hostile manner explaining to him that I am not Invisible and deserved some recognition for who I am and that he should know it is me he is talking to.

I feel so bad for calling him out on this, but it had to done as this was not the first time he has done such.

It was difficult for me to remember all the wise counsel I have ever heard in my life to respect your elders and to contain the anger I felt as I just opened my mouth and let unsavoury words spew out my mouth.

Although I am left with some regret on my part, it felt like he didn’t value, appreciate, or even acknowledge the person I am.   

I believe I still have great respect for my parents and anyone older than me, but at least acknowledge me for the person I am that is standing in front of you.

 

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